Signs You are in a Bad Relationship

I have come to see that after the first three months in a relationship, things seem to get a little tough this is so because at that stage you begin to get to really know each other. The initial attraction of do no wrong and see no wrong is gradually fading and you are faced with who this person really is, their flaws, your compatibilities. It is easy to get confused here, wondering if this love you feel, this whole attraction is right or just wrong. However if you wish to see clearly, then allow me to guide you through the tell-tale signs that you are in a bad relationship.

1. Non-stop Quarreling

There are no perfect relationships out there and that's ok because there are no perfect people. Relationship is two imperfect persons coming together to make something beautiful. It is not easy..not at all. There must be misunderstandings, angry times, times when you feel misunderstood and frustrated. But when you are always quarreling with your partner, no day passes by without hot exchange of words..then you need to step back a little and ask yourself how long you can keep this up.

2. They Won’t Commit

Haven’t we all be there? They say not all relationships must lead to marriage and that's true, some people come into your life to teach a lesson. Now you should be able to understand this. When someone is in your life to teach a lesson, get to see it for what it is; take the lesson and move on. There is no point dating someone who obviously isn't interested in committing to you. You don't need to be married to someone to commit to them. Commitment should come with love, with the need to make your partner secured. If you are dating a guy or girl who hides your relationship. You sneak over to his house, behind the back of his friends. She wont walk you off when you come visiting cause she don't want her friends to see both of you together. They are still holding on to some other girls or guys, telling everyone who cares to listen that they are still searching, then you really should know it is time to take the lesson and move on.

3. There is Someone Else and They are not Ready to Let Go.

"I wish I had met you first" this is a popular line used by a lover in this category. They talk about how  awesome, beautiful, interesting you are...how much they love you.. They tell you they would never let you go. You want to believe them but you know there is someone else. They say they wish they had met you first and somehow that makes you feel warm inside. So you decide to wait patiently hoping they will let the other one go, but they don’t seem to make any move on that and truth is they would never let them go. Why should they? they have the best of both world...they understand how badly you want to be loved and as long as they keep making you believe they love you, you would never leave. Prove them wrong.

4. Both of You are Getting Physical

It doesn’t matter how much you think you are in love with someone, how many butterflies swim in your stomach when you see them or how happy it feels when the going is good..if when things get bad you guys always end up exchanging fists, punches and blows, then you know it is time to pack up. A relationship like that is toxic..it destroys the body and the mind. It batters your self esteem you begin to believe you can’t be treated any better. You don’t have to accept or tolerate an abusive partner. Leave...walk away..stop thinking too much about whether you can ever meet someone better, there is always someone better out there but you can’t meet them when you are stuck in a bad relationship.

Do you agree? do you know of other signs of being in a bad relationship or have an experience to share? feel free to do that below.

If Wishes Were Horses Beggars Would Love Right.

Sometimes in our quest for true love, for that mutual satisfaction of two souls who are weird in their own way and yet similar in one too many ways, we meet someone who we believe is just right for us. Who the smile on their face get us so excited in ways we can not explain and whether we are talking with them or just watching them stare into space we feel a thousand and one connections to them.

They make our heart skip to a rhytmn sweeter than “pawpaw is a type of fruit".

They turn our heart into an acrobat, doing leaps and jumps we begin to fear it will break something. For them, all the walls we surrounded ourselves with come crashing down, while we struggle to put them back up.

And at the slightest break from our busy period we are staring at our phones hoping to see a text or missed call from them.

These feelings, We wish they could see it, feel it like we do. We wish but lo, wishes are not horses so how can beggars ride? I came to realise sometimes, finding the one who we believe is right for us can be pretty easy but getting them to see we are right for them, that is the tricky part.

No one is in Charge of your Happiness Except you

Some people depend so much on the world to make them happy. They depend on their parents to call them all the time for them to feel loved. They depend on their friends to always chat with them for them to feel cared for. They depend on their partner to always put a smile on their face for them to feel appreciated. And when they aint getting any of this, they end up so sad and depressed. I am sorry but I find that pathetic. Why give other people so much power over your life? Its okay to expect certain things from people but when you depend so much on them and centre the whole of your happiness around these expectations, then you are setting yourself up for a life of misery and depression.  I see them online putting up so much drama because you do not chat with them always or show "care" like they want you to. I wonder, if they react that way to friends some of whom they have not even seen, how will they react to their parents and lover? Truth is you have to learn to make yourself feel loved, cared for, appreciated and happy because noone can totally and completely do that for you.