Love doesnt hurt people, People hurt People.

Some days ago, I got chatting with a friend of mine and from the conversation, a simple truth dawned on me. Most relationships end because some people want to be dating and single at the same time. They have heard the saying you can't eat your cake and have it, yet they wave it aside, eat it they will and have it they must.  So even though there is someone in their life who they are supposed to share a part of themselves with, they share as it pleases them and hold back as much as they can.

The guy still want to go partying every weekend instead of considering the girlfriend who would like to spend some alone time with him sometimes. The girl still want to go clubbing with those male friends hanging around for a chance to get underneath instead of keeping them at bay and focusing on her man. The guy still want to keep his side chics and when his gf shows concerns she is too emotional and insecured. The girl still want to keep her sugar daddies and when the guy won't have any of such he wants to control her. At the end of the day, the relationship becomes a nightmare. Both parties are stuck in it, they want to stay and yet want to leave, contradicted contradictions and somehow in this confusion someone always get hurt.

People always talk about how love is cruel but I do not think love is the problem. Its people who aint prepared for love that's the problem.

With Acceptance comes Change.

I have come to realize in life there's no shame in admitting your weakness, accepting your wrongs, mistakes and flaws,  admitting how you messed up.

People spend too many years running away from who they are, what they did, how they erred. They try desperately to hold on to an illusion of how perfect they are. So whenever they have to talk about somethings that went wrong in their life, their relationships, friendships, family they are always in the right and the whole world is wrong. They are never wrong. It doesn't matter that they were too selfish, too impatient, too childish, too unforgiving, too stubborn, too hottempered, too inconsiderate . No.. They are just perfect and the universe has hatched an evil plan to bring them down .

They are always quick to give a long list of people who planned to bring them down but failed. The word "enemy" comes to their tongue so easily and anyone who tries to be honest with them is against them.
Truth is Life doesn't work that way.. You deny these things for too long and you wake up one day and realize that your life have been going in circles, no growth, no change. Accepting your mistakes and flaws is not been weak, it's been strong cause with acceptance comes change.

Relationships or Show offs?

Some people's idea of being in love is being able to show off a partner. To them relationship is all about showing off to the world that they have someone cute, intelligent, gorgeous by their side. Now wanting to show off how adorable your partner is, isn't exactly wrong but when that is all relationship is to you, there is a problem. These people would rush into relationships and when things get tough they stick around not cause of love but to preserve the image of perfection they have painted to the outside world. 

The thing is, I may not be a grandma yet but am old enough to say with certainty that such life of pretense holds nothing but pain and misery. Being the best couple is not about looking perfect together. It is about being perfect for each other. Its about sticking around when things are tough because you truly believe in your relationship, in this strange, imperfect person that you share something special with.

Perfect relationship is not that there is nothing about your partner that gets you irritated, upset, angry, but it means there is room for sacrifice, compromise, trust and understanding. It is beyond love itself and definitely in a realm far above show offs. It is a place where two souls meet and realise, this is it, this is where they are meant to be. If there's something better out there, it doesnt matter, cause this right here is just beautiful.

Self Love is the greatest; You can't be Perfect, but you can Grow.

They say the best feeling in life is being in love with another But I beg to disagree. I believe the best feeling in life is waking up one day and realising things are different now, looking back at your past and being able to count on your finger tips how much you have changed. Digging into buried dirts of your life and seeing there's nothing there that hurts you so badly any more.

It doesn't matter that you were once an alcoholic, once so depressed, once got yourself into some messed up shit, once so filled with hate, anger, pain, mistrust, bitterness; Once so selfish, hot tempered, unforgiving; Once so emotionally insecured, low self esteemed. Truth is we all have our demons. Things we battle with in the four corners of our own little world, while we smile to the outside world and act like all is well. Things that slip out every once in a while and unleash itself on people that got too close, some of our loved ones, and other people we didn't love so much.

I believe the best feeling in this life is getting to that stage where you realize you have taken control of your life, tamed the demon within. You ain't perfect but you have fought the good fight, you have grown. Yes sir, the best feeling in life for me is knowing that somehow in this troubled world, you have finally discovered love within yourself.

Memoirs of an Inspired life: MY LIFE, MY LESSONS

Memoirs of an Inspired life: MY LIFE, MY LESSONS: I have come to realise in Life that the things that seem easiest are the most difficult things to do. I saw that in the simplest there are the strongest mystery.

MY LIFE, MY LESSONS

I have come to realise in Life that the things that seem easiest are the most difficult things to do.

I saw that in the simplest things there are the strongest mystery.

I looked at the stupidest things in life, and realised they hold the deepest truth.

I begin to realise that fear is the greatest obstacle to success and when you learn to do that which you fear the most, you can do anything.

As I grow, I saw that saying you Love someone and actually loving them are two different things.

I realised in love, when you are in the deepest pain, it is better to be silent, because if your love wasn't enough, why will your words matter?

I realised that the sweetest moments can cause so much sadness when they become memories, yet we cherish them

I looked at the Future and I saw that it is always beautiful when we dream about it but can be pale when we are living it.

Then I realised, life is what it is, some questions are meant to be unanswered, some futures are meant to be unlived, some fears are meant to be unconquered, and sometimes promises of love are meant to be broken.

Signs You are in a Bad Relationship

I have come to see that after the first three months in a relationship, things seem to get a little tough this is so because at that stage you begin to get to really know each other. The initial attraction of do no wrong and see no wrong is gradually fading and you are faced with who this person really is, their flaws, your compatibilities. It is easy to get confused here, wondering if this love you feel, this whole attraction is right or just wrong. However if you wish to see clearly, then allow me to guide you through the tell-tale signs that you are in a bad relationship.

1. Non-stop Quarreling

There are no perfect relationships out there and that's ok because there are no perfect people. Relationship is two imperfect persons coming together to make something beautiful. It is not easy..not at all. There must be misunderstandings, angry times, times when you feel misunderstood and frustrated. But when you are always quarreling with your partner, no day passes by without hot exchange of words..then you need to step back a little and ask yourself how long you can keep this up.

2. They Won’t Commit

Haven’t we all be there? They say not all relationships must lead to marriage and that's true, some people come into your life to teach a lesson. Now you should be able to understand this. When someone is in your life to teach a lesson, get to see it for what it is; take the lesson and move on. There is no point dating someone who obviously isn't interested in committing to you. You don't need to be married to someone to commit to them. Commitment should come with love, with the need to make your partner secured. If you are dating a guy or girl who hides your relationship. You sneak over to his house, behind the back of his friends. She wont walk you off when you come visiting cause she don't want her friends to see both of you together. They are still holding on to some other girls or guys, telling everyone who cares to listen that they are still searching, then you really should know it is time to take the lesson and move on.

3. There is Someone Else and They are not Ready to Let Go.

"I wish I had met you first" this is a popular line used by a lover in this category. They talk about how  awesome, beautiful, interesting you are...how much they love you.. They tell you they would never let you go. You want to believe them but you know there is someone else. They say they wish they had met you first and somehow that makes you feel warm inside. So you decide to wait patiently hoping they will let the other one go, but they don’t seem to make any move on that and truth is they would never let them go. Why should they? they have the best of both world...they understand how badly you want to be loved and as long as they keep making you believe they love you, you would never leave. Prove them wrong.

4. Both of You are Getting Physical

It doesn’t matter how much you think you are in love with someone, how many butterflies swim in your stomach when you see them or how happy it feels when the going is good..if when things get bad you guys always end up exchanging fists, punches and blows, then you know it is time to pack up. A relationship like that is toxic..it destroys the body and the mind. It batters your self esteem you begin to believe you can’t be treated any better. You don’t have to accept or tolerate an abusive partner. Leave...walk away..stop thinking too much about whether you can ever meet someone better, there is always someone better out there but you can’t meet them when you are stuck in a bad relationship.

Do you agree? do you know of other signs of being in a bad relationship or have an experience to share? feel free to do that below.